Recently, I asked a friend, who I have not seen in quite some time, to lunch. Believe it or not, this is significant! After asking him to lunch, I thought it very strange and exotic. In previous years, friends and I could talk and have fun in school, hang out after sports practices, and pass nights away leisurely with hardly a worry. Times such as that are become less and less frequent! Now, it has occurred to me that I am not able to see my friends on a whim as I once could, and my life is no longer structured so that my friends are always nearby. I now have to result to adult tactics: I now have to be truly proactive enable to keep a friendship going. Asking a friend to lunch... there seems to be no other time in which we may both be free. I now have to ask people to lunch. Strange and exotic. I'm not exactly sure I like it, but I am growing up. These things happen.
I think myself quite smarter than I was a year ago. Being so young, I am by no means wise, but I have grown wiser than I was before. I am pleased to see myself and those around me grow, change, and improve. Now, I dedicate more time to myself than I did a year ago. I seek to make myself happy more than before - and others less than before. This is not to say that I don't seek to make my loved ones happy - I do - but I hold my own self as a higher priority and the results show.
I no longer accept any compromise for becoming a more skilled and experienced musician. I am working much harder in that regard than I did in the year previous. I've learned pieces by Howells, Mendelssohn, Purcell, and Couperin in the past month alone. My lessons with Mark Laubach have helped me to practice more thoughtfully and understand more fingering possibilities, increasing my overall technique. My conducting and voice lessons with Dr. Decker have helped extend my range and have added warmth and body to my voice, while maintaining the brilliance I already had naturally. I have been directing a church choir, learning service music every week, giving private sessions to soloists... it is so invigorating to teach and direct and organize!
Music aside, I've improved exponentially as a runner so far this Autumn. I've dropped my cross country time from a record of 23:05 last year, to a record of 21:36 - with a month left in the season to improve further still.
Now isn't a time for us to be concerned with others. Young people (my age specifically, and a few years older) must prioritize, focus on themselves rather than others, and make compromises less frequently. The time will come later in our lives when we will once more be able to focus on others more strongly and loyally. For now, I hope my young friends and peers strengthen their focus more on themselves.
